I have been lost in posting lately. I don't know if it is un-inspired or nothing eventful going on (that hasn't stopped me in the past, I have posted about sleeping dogs), or just too busy, or maybe the "Mary Poppins syndrome" (not wanting to post about anything but uplifting and positive stuff, I said I wouldn't do that, but I tend to)
.
NOT sure what my problem is?
.
I am learning in my old age, I can't multi-task like I used to. I used to pride myself on being able to keep so many balls in the air... I could really take on allot. I really had a "bring it on attitude" too. I could do it all, and with a smile on my face.
.
Now, I am overwhelmed easily! If I try and tackle too many things at once, it's like a big plate... and only so many things will fit on that plate before something begins to fall off. I have hurt some feelings, and felt like I let myself down so many times because my intentions have not adjusted to my abilities. But I am learning to say no, a little. I have to. I have to come to terms with what I can do, and what I can do well... not just all I want to do. So many times a day, I find myself remembering stuff I should have done, or meant to do. I tease my sister for being a list maker... but it looks like a list might do me some good. Oh I dread lists!
.
So this past month, I have been trying to take better care of myself. Not an easy feat for me at all. But it is on my plate now (some other things like keeping my house in perfect order, and trimming my roses and getting my yard in shape are falling off the plate for now). And I am working allot, so I am trying to fit that into who I am as well. And trying to keep a vision of what I should be doing in my life and for my family vs what I am actually doing, or not doing.
.
Then when school started, I really tried to make time everyday to listen to Jacob's ramblings about whatever, just be a good listener. So everyday, I give him space and time to unload after school. Surprisingly, most of it is worth listening to... but after about 4pm it gets to be just rambling thoughts of a teenager. I really wish I could teach him how to unload some of his thoughts in a journal or a blog... because they are important to him. But just not always thoughts I should fill my plate with, or things anyone should have to endure. His thoughts include strange noises and reaction to others thoughts with noises! He is really noisy! It's weird and hard to explain! (they are like half word phrases with sounds like UH! and WAH! emphasised at the end of them... it's sad, but we find ourselves telling him to be quiet all the time... hence my effort to give him special time to be listened to... it's hard and it sucks all my energy).
.
So with all that said... by the time Jim gets home, my listening skills stink! I am so bad! Last night he was telling me about his day and something about a $700,000.00 stress job he had to load with the boss watching him run the crane onto a huge lowboy! A something pound, something horse motor with, something coils..... blah, blah, blah... not meaning much to me... until...
No comments:
Post a Comment