The "Shrine"...

One day this past week, I was getting ready for work and was in my bedroom and looked down and saw Jacob's big ol' green basketball shoes near my feet.  Almost in the way to trip over them.  Something I would do on a regular basis when he was at home... trip over his shoes.  He would take them off in the strangest places and just leave them laying there in the middle of the way so an unsuspecting Mom would trip over them and put them away (I was certain that was his game plan, ha ha).

As I looked down at them, a wave came over me and it was like he had just been there, in my bedroom, kicking them off his feet.  I could almost feel him towering over me... of course I cried!

Even though in my mind I knew it was my strong silent mysterious man who had tried them on to see if he could wear them to play basketball that week.

But it also made me realize as I struggled to pull it together to finish getting ready for work, that I had some how turned a corner.

I had not cried like that for a little while about missing him.

At first it was everyday, more than once a day.

But I had to even think back when I had felt that achiness inside.

While I think of him everyday, not a day goes by that I don't think of him many many times a day! 

I was not doing the ugly cry every day anymore... sigh, I really thought in the beginning, that day would never come.

I have however, still been finding ways to add to "the shrine" as he called it... 

Before he left we had put up a clock with the time in Paraguay, and a photo of him and the Temple in Asuncion.

Later I added the blocks, counting down the Sundays until he comes home.  It has been fun every week to turn them over and feel the amazement of how long or how short each week goes.

And we had the maps of Paraguay up... I knew I wanted to keep track of the areas he was serving in.

It has really helped to see where he is and how far he travels at times to zone conferences or for exchanges.

But Mom brought with her the "gone fishin" sign... it was Jacob's idea when he was looking to find a favorite scripture to be his theme for his mission.

He really liked Matthew 4:19 and suggested I just put that with a "gone fishing" sign over his picture for his shrine.

Even though that was not what he ended up choosing for his scripture.  

So Kathy in SC found it and well, I put it up on paper until I can get it printed somewhere in vinyl.

 Just for him :)

 So while "the shrine" grows, and it looks like I DON'T have a life.

And I spend all my time doting and missing my missionary.

I really do, I have turned a small little corner and I have a very good life.  And I feel very supportive from a far for my son who LIVES in Paraguay.   That sounds so weird.

I do miss my missionary so much.

But we are loving his letters and love growing through his experiences as we watch him grow.

I really especially LOVE the photos!  

I can't get enough photos!!

Half way there!

Tomorrow will be two weeks since my new pacemaker implant, so I am halfway through some of the restrictions.

No driving,

No lifting heavier than a gallon of milk, 

No raising your right arm above your head.

I am feeling good, the bandages are off. 

I was surprised at how emotional I was when I took them off... I look a little bit like a pieced together quilt, but because my Strong Silent Mysterious Man hasn't treated me like an old quilt it helps :)

He has been AWESOME!!

So this is some of what life looks like right now...

Well this was before Mom went home.

\

She drove me around.  One day we took the Z car... it's a 5 speed manual transmission.  Jim asked if she could drive it??  I knew she could!  And she did great!  But when it was over and we were safe at home, I asked her if it was like riding a bike and it came right back to her, she said it took her back to her "tractor driving" days.  

That would have been as a teenager, and I had NO idea it had been that long, or I might not have even suggested we take that car out.

But now we all know, Mom won't be stuck somewhere if she has to drive a stick to get home :)

After she left, Jim has been my chauffeur, to the store, to church, home from work.  And he has been great and very willing to take me just about anywhere, I have tried not to abuse the privilege and didn't make him take me coupon shopping (so anyone going that way, call me).

But one of the drawbacks, is that I don't get to make any other decisions in the car, like which route we take or how many stops in between etc.  

The other night, I was trying to get to a meeting and he saw a kid halfway through an intersection, but stalled and having car trouble  and asked if he could pull over and help him.

I just left it up to him, I would be late for my meeting if he felt really impressed that he needed to offer his help.

I have learned you should never ignore those feelings... that is how the Lord uses us to help each other sometimes.

As it turns out the kid was about Jacob's age so that tugged on his heart strings a little.  And it looked like he needed gas, and was on the way to get money from a parent to help him get it, but couldn't quite make it that far.

So we went and got some gas and came back, but that didn't work. So we offered to give him a ride.  When they walked back to our car, there was the young man, and a girl his age carrying a car seat with a little baby!!

It was the night before our snow, so it was really cold out.

They were so grateful that we stopped to help them out.

I have thought about them everyday since and hope they are figuring out how to make ends meet.

It ended up being a little more than a tug on the heart strings as it turns out.  And we definitely felt Heavenly Fathers hand in the experience.

My morning commute is with this sweetie.  

I didn't know how much I really missed the school morning drop off's with Jacob!!  It's been such a blessing to have a ride and especially with such great company!!

Thank you Em- and Susan, you guys are such angels!!
It's really really appreciated!

Just two more weeks and I will get my release to drive again.

It probably won't have nearly as many adventures, but it will be nice to have my independence back!!