Goldilocks has been in my car...

Someone has been sitting in my seat and I can't reach the pedals anymore!

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The teenager has been commuting with his Dad to work, so I haven't had to share the car with him for a while. They are going into their slow season, so he got layed off this week, and has been out looking for a new job.

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So now he is back driving the car.... and I can sure tell, I get in and the seat is back soooo far... I can't reach the pedals! I had to laugh when it happened to me this time, I wasn't even close, not even tippy toes, able to reach them. The nice part about it, is he actually cleaned the car the day after I took this photo... the car was super grody, but now it's all clean and vacuumed and sparkling, just in time for the rain :)

I love my giant teenager!

Recapturing Beauty Challenge, Day 3; 10 Positive Things...

THE CHALLENGE:

10 POSITIVE THINGS

Make a list of 10 positive things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with your appearance--and 10 positive things you like about your appearance.

10 things you like about yourself:

1. I am easy to get along with, and look for something good in everyone.
2. I have a great work ethic.
3. I am a good listener.
4. I have a tender heart with compassion.
5. I am a good defensive driver.
6. I appreciate small simple things in life.
7. I am a good buddy to share popcorn with at the movies.
8. I am a happy morning person.
9. I am creative.
10. I am patient.

10 things you like about your appearance:

1. I am a good height, taller than average, but not obvious.
2. My eyes look good in blue.
3. I have healthy hair.
4. My hands - they are strong, flexible and coordinated.
5. I have a graceful "gate" when I walk (I know I am not a horse.... I just couldn't think of the right word for this in people).
6. My smile is infectious.
7. I have a confident outer appearance.
8. I wear cute shoes.
9. I have a good handshake.
10. I like my body hair as a Blonde, so I don't have to deal with facial hair or gnarly hair on the top of my toes, and have never had to shave the tops of my legs.

Your perception of yourself includes the physical. We won’t pretend it’s not important--physical factors are part of the mortal world we live in. We’ve challenged you to make two lists because both your inner and outer beauty affect you--and there will be times you feel insecure about both. Refer back to your lists and remember the positive.

Was it easier to come up with things you like about yourself, or things about your appearance?

It was so much harder to come up with things about my appearance than it was about myself, neither was easy. I really had to stretch to get 10 things I love about my appearance. I am still a work in progress. I still have much to learn and do on this challenge, because everything I wrote, I kept wanting to put a disclaimer after it, on both lists (like except when, or only because, or other than this, or most of the time, etc.). I have more work to SHUT DOWN that negative self talk. It's very chatty and annoying now that I am trying to focus on how beautiful I am. It's totally getting in the way. And has gotta go! I can really feel my happiness factor soar when I am able to shut the negative out. And I gain a confidence to be an even better more beautiful me when I am happy! And then I want to share it with everyone I know! Oh look out, I might be creating a monster!! As long as it's a happy monster like Sully I can deal with that (smile).

Recapturing Beauty Day 2: Define Beauty

THE CHALLENGE:

GOD’S DEFINITION OF BEAUTY

As I searched the scriptures, and read talks today to learn more of God's definition of Beauty... there were sooo many. Having a son, I am always encouraged by the 2000 Stripling Warriors who were strong and faithful because of the teachings of their mothers. Teaching your children about faith is beautiful. There were just too many branches of this to write down all my thoughts... my mind could go in a hundred directions from what we can learn from all the beautiful women in the scriptures.

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I read of Ruth and Hannah in the Old Testament; and understood that like them, we will all be faced with trial and adversity. We may not know or understand our trials or why we have been given them. These women in the scriptures developed beautiful virtues and qualities as they exercised their faith in the Lord. They possessed great Faith, Hope and Charity which enabled them to face their trials and be instruments in the Lord's hands.

We don't always have an option of choosing our situations in life, but we can respond with Faith and Trust in the Savior. It is how we choose to deal with our trials that truly shows our beauty.

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I know that as I "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto mine own understanding" (Prov 3:5) and develop a pattern of Faith, Hope and Charity in my life. It will lead me to develop the true beauty of these righteous women in the scriptures.

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1 Samuel 16:7

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

I need to learn to follow my heart, and make choices from my heart. The paths that I choose from my HEART are beautiful!

Alma 32:28 "... a seed may be planted in your heart, behold if it be a true seed or a good seed... it will begin to swell within your breasts" If I nurture and give light to those things that are in my heart they will grow and increase my testimony!

".... if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief..." If I don't exercise my faith those good seeds leave my heart, because only the true and good seeds remain in my heart. The BEAUTIFUL seeds!

In a teacher development class the instructor shared a story of a Judge who told him that he never ever raised his voice in his court room. He would face criminals and murderers and he made a choice when he became a judge to never raise his voice to them and to always show them respect as children of God.

The instructor shared that he took that inside his heart and realized he raises his voice at his own children at home. But he didn't want to. He LOVES his children and wants his actions to reflect what is inside of his heart.

Of course listening to this, I could only look at the ground because I have my own issues with raising my voice at home. I choose to let small things set me off and I am a yeller :(

It is not how I really feel in my heart about my family, it is not how I want them to remember about my love for them. I have caught glimpses of myself when I am throwing a "fit" and it is NOT bEaUTiFuL. The instructor said he decided to make a commitment to not raise his voice at his children, and just work on it from Sunday to Sunday, one week. I can do that, I can commit to living what is inside of my heart and showing that to my family, instead of raising my voice. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it, to work on and improve. I want them to see me as a beautiful mother and wife.

So why is it hard to internalize and believe the beauty Heavenly Father see's in us, the beauty that is inside our hearts? Why is is sometimes hard to reach inside our hearts and find that beauty? Why is it sometimes hard to show the love and beauty in our actions that are inside our hearts?

There are allot of scriptures about "hardening of hearts". And this is when one depends on their own strength and their own wisdom. And this happens when we forget about our Savior. We forget who we are.

I think Beauty begins and ends in the heart, and the heart is a muscle.... our muscles need exercise to become strong, so our heart or our faith needs to be exercised everyday to remain strong and to keep from becoming hardened.

It is through our hearts that we are fully converted to the Gospel, and through our hearts that we receive personal revelation from God. He speaks to our hearts. He shows His love for us through feelings inside our hearts.

So I would venture to say that true beauty in the sight of God would be on the inside and not on the outside! It would be in our character and in our virtue and in our integrity and in our faith... that is where our beauty lies, not on the outside.

God is our Heavenly Father, and He knows us better than anyone--He created us! He knows most intimitately how beautiful we are, and He will tell us if we seek Him. A relationship with Heavenly Father is essential if we are to truly understand beauty and our worth.

I "heart" you!

The teenager went in to get the other side of the dental work done.

And after only being home for a very short time, his boss called and he had to go to the clinic and take a random drug test.

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Of course being the TEASE that he is, tortured me into thinking he was worried about it... Ha Ha, very funny; NOT!

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When we drove up, the torture treatment came back around to him, when he saw this golf course directly across the freeway and felt so crummy, he could not even dream of playing on a such a rare day off.

His Dad called right after to let us know he passed and was drug free... it's amazing they can get such immediate results now. Cool!

And I was not worried about this kid, but it is always good to hear those words.

We counted our blessings this day, as there are so many that feel trapped and fall into the destruction of drugs. We have been blessed and are sooo grateful!

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After a few hours when the Novocaine wore off the teenager wanted to eat and requested a BIG stack of pancakes! I was still feeling THE LOVE... so I made a batch of his favorite chocolate chip ones.

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I tried to send him a message... but he didn't stop to read anything in the stack below the top one. But I took the opportunity to photograph them.

I bet if you put them in the batter later they don't sink down as far and you can really see them better. But I wasn't going for a masterpiece, just to show some love.

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I really enjoyed getting to spend part of my day with him.

I have missed him and he was open, talkative and fun...even in the throws of dental chair misery!

And even though he denied all photo ops, with one of his movie quotes...

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request, Means NO"!

(Barbossa: Pirates of the Caribbean)

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I love my teenager!

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Ski Coat...

For my 21st Birthday my family got me this ski coat!

I was living in Sacramento California without any family, very much alone.

And I will never forget opening a huge box of presents from my family in Seattle and feeling so warm and loved.

This was my favorite coat EVER!!

(I loved it even more than the acid wash denim jacket

with the white leather fringe... I KNOW, huh)

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But I had lost track of it... I would have NEVER EVER given it away!

But lucky for me, my Sister got the same jacket and has kept hers... and even luckier for me she went auburn and it clashes with her hair!

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So she sent me THE SKI COAT!!!

I can hardly contain my excitement!

The catch is... I was a bit thinner on my 21st birthday than I will be on my 46th birthday... so I have some work to do to get back into it. But it is great incentive!!

Did I mention, I LOVE this COAT!!!

Here it is with the skinny ski pants and the fur boots!

I told you I would never ever have let it out of my wardrobe, I kept everything else that I loved to go with it to make me officially the cutest snow bunny on the slopes, or in the lodge drinking hot cocoa!

Which is really where you have to show off these boots to their potential, because when I wear them in very deep snow they get all packed up and frozen with ice and I look more like the abominable snow man than the cute snow bunny look I was going for :)

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Thanks Sis for the awesome "good mail" package!

Your the bestest!
Let me know if you want me to send you those skinny black leather pants to try on...there hot!

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Okay, right... getting back to "recapturing beauty"... you can see I do let the world define how I feel about myself sometimes.

It's a work in progress... exactly why I am taking the challenge... it's only Day 2, go easy on me. Skiing makes me feel beautiful!

And Obermeyer... well they just get that... (smile)!!!

Recapturing Beauty Challenge, Day 1

The BYU Women's Resouce Center put on a campaign called "Recapturing Beauty" (click here)... and when I read the 10 day challenge that was posted earlier this month, I wasn't ready to commit to it, so I saved it to do the 10 days up until my birthday.

Today was my Day One...

I managed not to weigh... but I have to admit this will be a hard one for me.

I either avoid the scale for months at a time; and then spiral out of control because I lose accountability in taking care of myself and maintaining my weight.

Or I weigh constantly checking and re-checking myself (there is always number I have in my head that I tell myself I just won't go over) so that I myself in check every day; which eventually ends in disappointment and negative self talk because any sane woman knows the number on a scale is not an accurate measure of how healthy you are.

This will be good if I can learn a happy balance between the two extremes during this challenge.

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It will be increasingly challenging for me because I have been weighing weekly since August and been involved in small challenge groups (two different ones) with friends and family and I WANT to know how I am progressing, so I weigh often and record it EVERY WEEK!

But the good news is I have one goal set out for my birth date... and I don't have to weigh between now and then to stay on track. Weighing has nothing to do with the challenge except at the beginning and end; so I really don't need to weigh until it's all over. It will be a much needed break from the pressure and the emotional up's and down's of the scale. And 10 days won't put me too far off the road I need for accountability either.

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I love to people watch and I have noticed that we are all so different. How could Heavenly Father come up with so many different combinations? They just seem endless, and we are different every one of us from the inside out. I have especially noticed people's hands lately. I think because I almost don't recognize my son's hands anymore... they have changed from clean soft young hands, to tough, strong, mature, working hands.

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I am grateful for my body!

I am grateful for my hands, they are still agile and move me around the computer quickly and retain so much muscle memory (I am learning so much about this in my efforts to learn to play the guitar).

I am grateful that my body is able to heal from injuries.

I am grateful my body carried my son, and nurtured him while he developed miraculously inside me (of all the horror pregnancy stories people told me, nobody warned me how much I would miss carrying him after he was delivered... miserable, but a unique experience like NO OTHER to cherish and not wish away).

I am so grateful for a strong body that has carried me, and never given up on me.

I am grateful for a clear (most of the time) mind, that I can think and process rationally and learn and grow and overcome weaknesses.

I am grateful that my body responds when I put demands on it.

I am grateful for a body that responded and accepted a pacemaker when I was 19 years old.

My body is craving my attention, and I hope that I can give it the love it needs to restore back to a healthy vibrant lifestyle.

Sweeeeeet....

We have the bestest home teachers!!

They brought us this awesome sweet treat!(I have a hard time throwing away cute wrapping like this... so adorable... it is a lime green ribbon that matches the lime green and black and purple on the tag... super cute)
I wish I would have taken this picture beside it to show how huge it is.
This was one gargantuan caramel apple!!! So yummy, what a sweet treat to share with us.

Tenderfoots or is it Tenderfeet?

My Strong Silent Mysterious Man is a scout leader for the 11 year old scouts.

They needed to plan and go on a camp out to finish up some of their requirements on their way to earning their "Tenderfoot". So this weekend he went with them. At this age they have to have a Dad go with them. And as hard as he tried and tried, the teenager would not tag along this time. He claimed he had too much homework. And secretly I was so glad he stayed home and I got some time with him. We love watching movies together and the dogs were barking and growling at stuff outside all night and freaking me out and making me scared. So I was super happy to have him home.

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The boys found some cool petroglyphs.

They reported the full moon was quite a sight going down behind the mountains.
I will have to teach him how to set the time and go get in his own pictures... but it still turned out cute with the boys and their Dad's.

And he was really impressed with this neat rock formation.

They hiked and cooked and he even ate eggs in a bag!

You KNOW how picky he is about his eggs, he said they were the best!

I asked the scout what he did to make them sooo good, and he had brought them from home, and they are farm fresh eggs from his chickens... maybe that was the difference.

Oh dear, I hope his next adventure will not be proposing we raise our own chickens for farm fresh eggs... I might have to put my foot down (with boots on) about that one.

Chickens with hunter dogs who have been endlessly taunted by squirrels all summer long... not a good combination at all. And I don't do chicken coups or scoop chicken pooh!

Oh sigh... I love my Strong Silent Mysterious Man!