Sunday, Home Alone...

With the "teenager" in Seattle, and my husband getting the dreaded call to come into work (it doesn't happen often on a Sunday... but in their busy season, it isn't out of character either).... I would find myself home alone on a Sunday morning.

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Oh good, I would get to sleep in...

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NOT!

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Why is it these dogs have to go in and out and in and out, soooo much more often when I am home alone than any other time, EVER!

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So I battle in my head, I could stay home and catch up on allot of things around the house, that have totally fallen off of my list of priorities, but that are totally bugging me to pieces. Or I could do what I know I should do, and get my spiritual starved self to church where I belong.

I knew I really shouldn't take any chances that an Apostle or The Prophet, or maybe Jesus might show up today and I wouldn't be there to meet them! That's the line I give my teenager when he even tries to fake sick on a Sunday morning... it's not really a guilt trip, just creative parenting, right?

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Okay, I just knew I would feel better about myself if I get showered, shampoo'd and smell like a flower, and get a dress on and get myself to church... I knew I would. I couldn't afford to take any side steps on feeling better. So I went.

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My original intentions were to only go to the 1st hour meeting, thinking that would be good enough for me. But then I felt guilty (yep all on my own) and didn't want anyone to see me sneaking out since my family wasn't with me. What a weird guilt trip I put myself on.

The truth is, probably nobody would have noticed if I weren't there!!!

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But seriously, it was good for me. I am glad I went and stayed.

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It was tiny bit weird thinking about sitting by myself, with my bff on vacation with her 8 children, the row with just me on it, would have been obviously empty; compared to how it normally looks. (We are creatures of habit and sit stuffed into this same bench on the same row every week with all 10 of their family... originally I think they were being nice to us, letting us sit with them; but it kind of took... and her littlest one knows my husband always has candy in his suit jacket pocket, so we kind of became a permanent ornament there with them.)

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So I immediately find a spot next to another friend, with a teenage son... I thought it would help fill the "gappiouso" I was having missing my teenager. He gave me funny looks when I would sing too, so I felt right at home. (hey my throat is still a little off from being sick, that's my story).

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For Sunday School, I was slowly walking to class... hoping someone would need me elsewhere so I wouldn't have to go alone... when I walked passed a class with only one young women and her teacher... so I popped in and asked if I could stay and learn what they were teaching this week.

They happily let me sit in, and the young woman knew me well, so I hope it made it less awkward. We got into some good lesson talks together, so I think it went well. And I got to color... I haven't done that in a long time, but it was on my list of things I wanted to do this summer. So there you go! Check, check!

(I know it wasn't where I was supposed to be, but it was a better alternative than going home).

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Then for the 3rd hour I went into RS and standing at the door, looking, thinking I would feel much less guilty now that I have 2 hours under my belt sneaking out now... then I see a new lady I had made friends with that has a dog in Taylors obedience class, and snuck over to sit by her.

Her little American Bulldog "Rocky" is adorable, so we had lots to chat about our pups before class started. So I wasn't uncomfortable at all, and I found out her husband works out of town so she was at church alone with her kids.

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I had forgotten what it felt like to go to church alone, it wasn't as I might have remembered. We just can't forget about our single sisters, and empty nesters, and widows... if they think about their circumstance all the time, as much as I did for the short time I had to deal with it today... they are way to distracted by it. I know I almost let it get in my way of having some really wonderful lessons and spiritual experiences come my way, by staying home.

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When we are feeling inadequate or less needed, alone, or un-important, it is not coming from Heavenly Father. It defiantly comes from a much darker source. HE would not want us to feel that way about ourselves, most especially on the Sabbath Day, but really anytime.

We have great value in HIS eyes, and most often HE will use us to answer prayers of others. So we always need to be where we are supposed to be and not let the advarsary detour us. We must always be prepared to receive HIS instruction and inspiration and possibly be an instrument in HIS hands!