Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My own drama...

There seems to have been allot of banking drama around my house lately.  I have come to learn more closely that Satan uses things personal to each of us to keep us from doing good, being good, or having eternal families and following God's plan.

Satan knows I love numbers, I love to crunch numbers and balance them.  I like to add them and watch them grow.  He knows if he can frustrate me to pieces with finances it is very close to my heart.

So he has been working on me through finances (I am certain because of all the good a missionary can do in the world for God's plan)!  

Jacob has learned to watch his money grow as he saves it, and who doesn't like that.  But not everyone is good at doing it.  It's so hard to be disciplined at it.  But he has managed to follow the council he has received and save for his mission.  He told us last night during our family night time, how much he appreciated that we helped him all along to save his money.   It was really nice that he recognized the help and guidance and that it was all done in love for him, and we were not trying to be mean to him by not letting him spend it all on video games and Itune cards.

It was a small payoff for the many arguments  fights discussions over the years.  I love my teenager, and we are so incredibly proud of him... it's hard to explain, and my heart bursts at the seams over him so much, it really out ways the times I want to strangle him (thankfully).

Last year, he had finally came to a point in his savings to move some money into an account that he could write checks from... it was a painful, but very important time of learning.  I am always really amazed that these kids graduate from high school and don't know how to write a check.  But as I looked back, I didn't know how then either.

This week, he came to a point where he would need different access to his accounts and ordered a debit card.  It arrived in the mail.  I almost can't stand the pain of this process, it has started already.  We went to the archery shop to check out leagues last night and see if it was something we wanted to do as a family.  He had some small repairs to have done to his bow and paid for them with his duh, duh, duh,... yes his debit card.   It was like he had struck gold or something, after the first use he got some kind of rush from the ease of not having to write a check... that as we got into the car he asked if he could pay his tithing with his debit card!!!  Freaking out inside, I tried to giggle over the gasp that came out of my mouth, hoping he was just teasing... I am so afraid!!! (he could quite possibly walk up to a member of our Bishopric and try it, this is real fear people).

Looking back, I remember going from a one debit card household, to a two debit card household and just when I thought we were doing fine, I had the rug ripped out from under me when I received our bank statement (before you could watch your account online) to find we had BOTH been using the debit card, but only one of them was being recorded.  And the memories from all the pain that came from that experience, I just don't want my teenager to ever have to learn the way I did.  He has come so far.  But I know I can't protect him from himself forever, and I have done all I can do to teach him to love numbers.  And really learning how to cut up a debit card is not a bad lesson to learn at anytime in your life.  It's just sooo painful!!

Half of my battle is realizing that Satan is using this because it is so close to my heart and he can.  Once I gain perspective on that, I am sure to have fewer melt downs and not let him get to me and let my teenager make his own mistakes.   

I think the other half of my battle is learning to laugh, somehow I have lost my sense of humor and I only cringed when the teenager joked about paying tithing with his debit card (he was joking right?).  Something is wrong with me, I have to laugh and I have forgotten how!!   

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