Monday, January 4, 2010

Happy New Year!

I have had such a hard time blogging lately!
But I love having the history of this journal building up to look back on.
It helps me realize things I have overcome and gotten better at; I can reflect on the memories thru photos and words that I would never remember on my own.
It is wonderful to see how much my family has changed and grown over time.
I can laugh at myself about things that were not so humorous while living them (like when the teenager first got his license).
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So I won't quit! No matter how much I have been tempted to do lately.
I was just much more inspired in my writing in the past than I have been recently. I don't know what that is about, I hope it passes really soon!
It has just been really hard for me to put my thoughts into words.
And I don't know how to fix it.
So I have just tried not to push it and just go with the flow, and be patient with myself and not be too hard on "me", when I fall short of my own expectations (that is much harder than it sounds).
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Jim is still working tons of hours up at the dam... so we miss him.
It leaves a big hole in our home without him here.
That has been pretty hard for me. He is home every night and I am truly grateful for that, and that he has so much work to keep busy during a traditionally slow season in his industry. It is a blessing to our family, and I am so grateful! But it's still pretty hard on me.
I miss being able to talk to him when I need him.
He was home for New Years Day, but had some sleep to catch up on... so it was different.
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The teenager has been out with his friends to see a couple of movies during his break, but he stayed home and shoveled snow and hung out at home mostly. So not too exciting. But plenty of time to get under my skin and push all my buttons.
He is a pro at that now!
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I went out to the annual scone party for about 30 minutes on Saturday. My big outing for the holiday season since I have been home from SC... and then forgot to take pictures. Drat!
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I finally got a spark of enthusiasm on Sunday afternoon (of all crazy times. We have an earlier church schedule this year and I didn't know what to do with all the free time on my hands) and cleaned out under our bathroom sinks; which flamed up into cleaning out the medicine/storage cabinet... only making me realize I have a cabinet or drawer in EVERY single room of my house that needs cleaning out!! Seriously... desperately!!
Just the little bit I did created a huge black garbage bag full of stuff, and a box of more stuff to donate. Wow! It was allot of stuff to be cleaned out for only living here 6 years!!
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Don't get too excited, the original spark was only partially started because when we had our clogged sink in (ahem.... no judging ) early December, we threw everything in a laundry basket that has been sitting in my bedroom ever since. So after a month, I finally was dealing with that... how sad is that? But better late than never I always say!
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I am at another temporary stand still because now our outside garbage can is full, so I have to wait on the spring cleaning in January until Thursday garbage pick up day.
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Hey it's a step in the right direction.
And now that the teenager is back to school, I can try and establish a regular routine again.
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I like the fresh new beginnings a new year can bring.
I have picked out "word of the year" for 2010... but it is really ambitious... so I want to wear it a little while to make sure I am up for the challenge before I put it out there!
Yes, fear of failure still looms over me all the time!
I hope I can lose that this year too.
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But so far so good!!
It's gonna be a great year!

2 comments:

six Thompson said...

I love your blog and it seems you type all the things I am thinking too. Good for you for cleaning out under your sinks. It seems to be that time of year to clean and get rid of old stuff. Start a new.

Keep up the good blogging and good work.

Melody said...

Hey there... I havent blogged really since Christmas... been a bit uninspired and un focussed...or maybe just focussed on other things...hmmm now I am rambling. Trying to re commit to myself... That fear a failure thing can be haunting... Anyway. I love you and love your posts. Hope all is well your way. BTW did you hear we have a new bishop & Brent is in the bishopric...?

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