Unsettled..

It's already been such a long week. Fighting off "the sickies" I am sure the teenager gave me.

Cough, chest hurts, light headed, fuzzy... so much fun!

And never at a good time...

I had to teach on Sunday at the Spanish Branch in our Stake. So on top of all the nerves, I got to take a nice cold sore with me, just for a confidence boost (NOT!). Luckily I didn't have to do the lesson in Spanish, whew! Singing and saying the YW theme in another language was tough enough... they were cute and invited me back to do another lesson in Spanish next time... LOL! I am pretty sure they were making fun of me because I slaughter the language at any small attempts I make to learn it.

I am busy making invitations and programs for another event... and normally I love the graphic art side of these things, but when your head is exploding, and your behind on everything else in your life, too many deadlines to meet at one time, and no body will cooperate with the deadline to have their stuff turned in TWO WEEKS AGO... it sucks all the fun out of it for me. And since they aren't getting paid to do it, and volunteer out of the kindness of their hearts... I can't yell at them. Darn... I was all ready to yell.

The dogs, loving the feeling that spring is close in the air... wanting to spend all their time outside, and tracking all the dirt and mud inside still.

The trees... they have to be pruned by Saturday!!! Spring is coming. I have no idea what I am doing... but it has to be done. Panic sets in, and I hate having this over my head and having to beg for help to get it done.

Everything I have touched this week at work, has opened another can of worms! I just want it to go smooth, and it's just not. Why am I being challenged so deeply this week?

And if I wasn't crazy enough trying to keep up with my own things, my strong silent mysterious man is really busy taking care of important customers... which means jumping through some hoops, and having crews work through the night to get the job done... which means phone calls at all hours of the night, and when he doesn't sleep well... the pups are up with him, which means I am up with them... they are needy, I nurture, it's something I think I do well.

The teenager... if he asks to play golf one more time, before his chores are done... I just might lose it on him. Why is this concept so hard to grasp?

And the straw... I lost one of my most precious possessions ever, (besides my Temple Recommend). A locket that held a few gold nuggets (more like flakes) that my strong silent mysterious man panned out of the north fork of the Sacramento river when we were dating. This gold was so precious to him, he carried it everywhere, he was so proud of it, and then he put it into a locket and it was one of the first things he ever gave me, I was so honored he trusted me to wear it. I had it on Saturday when we were sighting in our bows, and somehow it got caught as I released an arrow shooting at a 50 yard target at the practice range. I felt my necklace flip around and when I reached down the necklace was in tact but the locket was gone. We have discussed at the speed of those arrows, how amazing it was that the necklace didn't break, it just stripped the locket away to who knows where. And even more amazing nothing bad happened, it could have hurt me (cut my neck off at that speed) or flipped my arrow in a crazy direction and hurt someone around me (counting my blessings, it could have been much worse when we talked about it).

We searched for hours and I have been back there everyday praying and searching on my hands and knees looking, but haven't found it. It is a huge gravel covered range, and it could have been flipped in any direction forward backward either side??? It could have fallen short, or travelled really far with the impact of the arrow. I am sick about it.

I know it is just a physical thing, not replaceable, but not life or death either.

But I am so heart broken... but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

I have to let go, and just hold on to the memories and meaning it had for me; for us!

It's been a hard week.