I haven't been very committed to keeping up my journaling on my blog. Time just goes by, life is different and and I don't have as much pondering time these days. And it just gets away from me.
But I love having the history, looking back at what we were up to, staying close with my family and so I have to try harder and find a window to share and spew on my blog.
I will do better.
We are good. Life is different in the empty nest, but we are embracing it and taking care of each other. We laugh, I love laughing with him and we cry some too. But we have each other and it's a sweet special time.
The games in the closet are getting dusty, it's hard to find a game for two. But we have been playing "Farkle".
It's fun to play together and be competitive and it doesn't matter how old you get, you still have to be a good sport in game play.
It's a great way to keep up these skills.
I couldn't stand it, I just could NOT wait until his birthday to send the missionary a package, that stretch between Christmas and June was just too long for me. So when some of the young women in the youth group brought us some letters and treats with scriptures for the missionary, I had to make up a pkg to get them sent.
It was a very exciting couple of weeks. I wanted to be sure and add anything he might need, I would pick up a few things here and there, he really didn't write that he wanted or needed anything. So I had the box all ready to go with much anxiety ready to mail and took it with me to work only to find out it was President's day and the post office was closed. Well that afternoon we got his letter and he finally thought of a few things he needed. Whew! Good thing that all worked out, I was able to get the things he requested and re-pack the box and mail it the next day.
I pray and pray and fill the box with as much love as I can get in ever single little space, then I add all the faith I have into the rest of the spaces and it is a strange happy sad feeling to work on something so much and finally be done with it.
Standing in line at the post office the anxiety began to wear on me... I was finally going to send it off. As I thought about how far this little box was going and how many hands would touch it between me and him. I was so filled with emotion.
Then as all the custom paperwork was completed, and all the numbers and long addresses and information on contents is entered into the computer my eyes started to well up.
I realize what all those miles between me and him mean.
When the post office worker snatched it out of my grasp, I want to grab him and tell him what that box represents and what I was feeling so he would treat it with greater respect... but I know, I just had to have faith, it's just a box to him.
It feels good to have it on the way, but there is such an empty feeling waiting for it to arrive. 6-8 weeks seems forever to hear if he was as excited as I was preparing it for him. And I have to keep reality in the back of my mind somewhere too, that it might never make it to him. It happens.
So far, my experience is that it's all in the giving... not so much feedback on the receiving end of things. I know he gets them and loves them, but he is so busy he doesn't have time to really gush about how he felt when he opened it. But I know it makes a difference!
In the meantime, his Dad cracks me up.
Jacob was the dog scooper upper... so now we have had to pick up the slack. Lets just say necessity is the nature of invention!
I am sure if Jacob would have suggested vacuuming up the frozen poop with the shop vac, (and he probably did)... it would have been voted a ridiculous idea and he would have been sent back out with a shovel. But realizing how much work that is, when you don't keep up with it... Jim thought this was brilliant.
I also find him in Jacob's closet from time to time... picking out some of his "cool and hip" clothes to play basketball in, like his Nike armour gear...
Or his fun college ties :)
So we are good. We miss him, but find ways to talk about him, reminisce about the good times with him. He really adds to the family fun memories!
And still get to tease him by sending him photos of his Dad trying on his clothes and trying to keep up with his new chores.
It makes us laugh, and hopefully gives him a chuckle too.
2 comments:
This is such a great post! Who needs a younger brother when you have a Dad like Jim?!!!
PS: My Jim borrowed, er, tried on, things of Lorens also!! We didn't however document any of it....
I have been so missing the blog that I have to gush and let you know how wonderful it is to read each word and how close it makes me feel to you. It is much appreciated and the love I feel from it is never ending. Love and miss you guys.
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