Friday, March 12, 2010

March Madness...

I received a "March Madness" challenge - to read the Book of Mormon in the month of March. I have so many things on my plate right now and am struggling with how to balance them, so I am not sure what came over me, but I thought it was a GREAT challenge for me and an amazing goal to work on. Even right now as "busy" and crazy as I feel!
I hate to take on something and then fail at it; so once I made a personal commitment to myself I was all in! (I must be a glutton for punishment).
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I started out and wanted to be so obedient. And then in the VERY FIRST WEEK, I was already slacking and getting behind (I am the epitome of procrastination). I thought I could just do enough to get by; read a little in the morning and a little at night, and then I would miss one of those and be a little more behind, and then I thought I could just skip Saturday I wanted to spend time with my family and I could catch up on Sunday because I have more time, and then other things demanded my time on Sunday and many more interruptions came, and then WOW!! I was left with feelings of inadequacy and being a big loser,
all those bad things I say to myself came into my head... the difference was I could hear right away where they were coming from. Anything good comes from God, and these were not good.
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I realize I listen to that more than I think I do.
But my desire to do good conquered, as I realigned myself... I was only a very small degree off course, but it took an adjustment in my mind and in my attitude and I was amazed at what personal things came to me during my quest to catch up on my reading!
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And now I am caught back up and have been keeping my commitment to myself to do my reading EVERY morning and I can't get my shower before it is all done.
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Many more things have come to me that have helped me with my quest for balance and answers to things in my life and burdens I have been carrying.
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This past week I have really been pondering many different things and my heart has been so full as to how to approach things in my life, and balance them and how to move forward and in what direction that should be? In trying to describe it to a friend, I said that I almost felt shorter because of some of the worries in my heart, they were beginning to weigh me down, I FEEL THE WEIGHT right now!
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So this morning in Mosiah 24 I read " I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, and this will I do that ye may stand as witness for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."
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Wow! Is it a coincidence that I am on that page, this week at a time when I am feeling and expressing to Him through prayer in almost the exact same words my afflictions?
NO!!!
The troubles I feel are for my own strength, and for me to be a witness of Him!
For my own testimony to grow and be strengthened in Him!
WOW!! What a loving God.
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I do know God loves me! I know he loves all of His children, He knows of my burdens and the desires of my heart and He is there for me ALWAYS!
He will help me to learn by leaving the weight on me when I need it to learn, AND He will carry it for me when I am weak! And I have to have Faith in Him for it is His time and he knows me better than I even know myself.
I know that God wants us to succeed and to feel of His love and His grace in our lives.
I know that Jesus is our Savior.
I love Him and the sacrifice He gave for me to be forgiven of all of my sins and and for all of my shortcomings!
I love the scriptures and I am so grateful I have them available to me to find answers I need for direction in my life, and that He continues to put people in my path that help me and that have shared their testimony of them with me so that I can find the desire to turn to them to increase my own testimony of Him!
I leave this record of my testimony of these things, and I do in the name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.

2 comments:

Kristi M. said...

What a big challenge. I can only imagine the blessings that you are feeling while taking on this challenge. I am trying hard this year to read my scriptures more rgularly this year. Big challenge when you have a preschooler that no longer sleeps in later than 7:30am and I am in no mood to get up earlier than that. Hmmm...maybe that should be my goal...get up even earlier than him to get it done. Thanks for this post and a push for me to do better at reading.

Brit said...

Thanks Beth! I loved reading your testimony. It made my day! Love you!

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